Overcoming fear of imperfection in my art Part 2
Last week I shared a painting I've been afraid of finishing. It was looming and I was allowing my fear to keep me from expressing myself and thereby preventing all that the process itself gives me.
I decided to tackle it head on and made a promise to do my best. I like to think that's what I did.
Below is a before picture.
I was told a few times by friends and family that the painting looks fine, and they couldn't see anything wrong with it. Why did I feel the need to keep working on it?
It wasn't about the painting being fine so much as it just felt unfinished. I had more to do before I could let go. I needed it to get a little closer to the image I had in my head.
Picking the brush back up felt like picking back up again with an old friend. A little choppy at first, but soon getting a hang of things and just going with the flow.
I was tempted many times to overthink it, and found myself still doing a lot of staring. I wanted to incorporate what I've learned since I last worked on this painting without overdoing it.
I had ideas but still wasn't sure exactly how to bring them to life.
I consulted Eric (hubs) and told him about what I was struggling with, then we both did some staring, and toyed around with different ideas. Having a conversation about it and getting some useful feedback helped to clarify the direction I wanted to go in and what techniques to use.
Over the course of the week I spent hours taking my time with love and care while also surrendering myself to the act of creation.
I learned a LOT from this experience about myself, about painting, and the process of creation itself.
The act of creation is becoming sacred for me in that it's time I'm devoting to myself and a way to connect with my higher Self. I can exist in this realm where anything is possible for a little while and the outside fades into the background. It's almost meditative.
Instead of putting pressure on myself to create something accessible I'm surrendering to the flow and the process of learning as I go, and being okay with walking away.
I'm finding joy in discovering new ways to approach bringing my ideas to life and it's exciting, if others are moved by what I make that's a cherry on top honestly!
Without further ado, here is the finished piece.
I can't say it's perfect or that it's exactly how I saw it in my head but it's pretty damn close and that's fine by me. I'm happy to move on from this piece I call "The Network". It was inspired by the neurons in our brains and the microverse we all hold within each one of us.
I'll continue sharing my creative endeavors with you, and thank you for being on this journey with me!
I love it!ReplyDelete